


Zoo-a-Roonie

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Crack, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-20
Updated: 2012-06-20
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:05:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because why not, everything else this season ends in Roonie.<br/>Toki and Skwisgaar are at the zoo, and they have challenged each other to only talk in rhymes.  I don’t have a good reason <i>why</i> they’re doing it, but that’s what they’re doing.<br/>It’s nothing but dialog, but no quotation marks because they get in the way.  </p><p><a href="http://capslokdethklok.livejournal.com/1862610.html">Easier to read version</a>, where Toki’s lines are in blue.  (the colors won't work here, I tried)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zoo-a-Roonie

Well Toki,  
Here we ams at de zoo.  
And jus’ so you knows,  
I ams going to rhymes everyt’ing better dan you.

We’ll sees abouts that,  
I’s good at this game.  
But if you’s really nice  
I might lets you wins all the same.

Fine, starts here,  
Dey gots lots of seals.  
You think that’s hards?  
Comes on, Skwisgaar, gets reals.

They’s really cute though,  
I likes watching them plays.  
But we has to keeps movings,  
We don’ts gots all days.

Comes over here,  
Dis ams a real goods one.  
I gots you dis time,  
Ams goings to be fun.

Looks right dere,  
Dat stupids hippsopotamus  
No ossifer,  
We don’ts gots no pot on us!

Okay goods one, Toki.  
Oh shits dere really ams a cop!  
It’s okays, Skwisgaar,  
He didn’ts stop.

You don’t really has weed,  
Does you?  
Pfft, no. Okay maybies,  
But dere ams no place to gets high at de zoo.

Skwisgaar, this ways!  
Let’s goes see the giraffes!  
I liked them a lots,  
They makes me laugh.

Ja, dey ams pretty funnies looksing  
Kinds of likes you.  
Oh don’ts go and starts poutsing  
You knows dat amns’t true.

Well at least this times you don’ts makes me  
Wear a stupid banana suits.  
Aw comes on Toki,  
Dat was kinda of cute.

Cute?! I gots punched in the balls  
By a fuckings monkey!  
Well maybe he jus’...  
Maybe he t’oughts you was hunky?

Oh that’s just terribles.  
Well let’s see you comes up with somet’ing better.  
I don’t think I cans,  
But at least we’s here together.

Oh, the underwater friends house!  
I likes sharks.  
Um, ja I knows dat,  
You likes de sharks.

Oh comes on,  
You can’ts rhymes nothing with shark?  
Fines, fines...  
At least dey don’ts bark?

They gots piranhas!  
Piranhas are brutal!  
Dey would even eats  
Dat fat lady’s poodle.

But it mights gets stuck in their teeths  
Because fish don’ts floss.  
Well if dey ams got poodle breath,  
Dat ams their loss.

Poodle breath, that’s goods,  
We could calls Moiderface that.  
Ja we coulds,  
But he woulds jus’ says it ams because he ams fat.

These tigers are borings!  
They’s just layings around all day!  
You means kinds of like us?  
Well when you puts it that way...

But I’s not impresseds with these cats,  
Let’s finds something awake.  
Oh looks, they’s got swans  
Overs there in that lake!

Eh, Pickle woulds care, but we ams not Pickle.  
Well fines then, you picks the way!  
Well day sign says dey gots bears  
Down dat ways?

Okay looks dere,  
Dat bear’s hasing a swim.  
It’s hot outs here,  
Wish I coulds jumps in with him.

He woulds probabies eats you if you dids,  
Because dat ams what bears do.  
I knows, that sucks.  
Hey dids something just moo?

Dat cow t’ing over dere, I t’ink?  
Wit’ de really huge horns?  
Wait- What’s they doings?!  
Are we watchings cow porns?!

Uh... Ja we ams, apparentlies,  
Dis ams how hamburgers ams made.  
Let’s keep goings,  
And finds some place in the shades.

De monkey house gots shade  
But it ams always kinds of smells.  
I don’t like monkeys no more,  
They can all goes to hell!

Pffts, whatsever.  
Den let’s go see de elephants.  
Oh fucks I think you gots me...  
Um... No, they’s not relevants!

Damn, you ams really goods at dis.  
But it’s been surprisinglies fun.  
I knows! But it’s so hots.  
Stupid fuckings sun.

Speaking of dat, I t’ink I ams gettsing a burn.  
Maybe I should has worns sleeves?  
You does look a littles pink  
Maybe now we shoulds just leaves?

Ja, I t’ink we has seens jus’ about everyt’ing  
Dat we wanted to sees anyways.  
And we can always comes back if we wants,  
Maybe ons a cloudies day.

Or goes somewheres else, I don’ts care,  
Ams jus’ funs doesing t’ings wit’ you.  
Aw Skwisgaar, that’s sweet!  
And it almosts sounds true!

It ams true, you dildo  
And I knows dat you knows it.  
I does. Hey we’s outs the gate, does that mean we can stops rhymings now?  
Ja, we’s done here.


End file.
